History Repeats Itself, Again!
Allies Victorious at the 26th Annual Allies vs. Axis Solo
December 8, 2013 - Dixie Region SCCA held the 26th Annual Allies vs. Axis Solo Autocross at Spence Field in Moultrie, Georgia. Allies vs. Axis commemorates Pearl Harbor Day with a Solo event on the Sunday closest to the anniversary of the December 7, 1941 surprise attack on Pearl Harbor by Japanese forces, the event that led to American participation in WWII. This event is a team autocross, with American and British ("Allies") vehicles competing against Japanese and German ("Axis") cars. Italian cars are Axis before lunch and Allies in the afternoon. Swedish cars, officially neutral, park in the paddock and sell stuff to both sides at enormous profit. Last year, we declared a moratorium on making bad jokes about French cars, in hopes that some would show up. None did, so I guess they’re still in the woods, hiding from the German cars.
The day dawned foggy in Moultrie. The Axis team made their ceremonial first run around the course at precisely 7:53 AM, the time the first bombs fell on Pearl Harbor. The attack began as Marko Horn (an honest-to-Schnitzel, born in Germany, German-type guy) and Bryan “Shogun” Batchelor (who had a Japanese looking headband on) started around the course with both Japanese and German flags flying above their Honda. In the far corner of the site, shielded by the fog, they were joined by Floyd “Furu” Webb and Carlos “Kamakaze” Tomas in a second Axis car; Terry “P1” Nitti Jr and his gunner, Arty “Yaku” Gallegos in yet another Axis fighter along with Josh “Unicorn F*rt” Roqueplot, Heidi “Momma Bear” Nitti and Nicole “War Paint” Hamrick in the Honda Fit bomber. This fleet of Axis cars then stormed into the finish line. The Allies, stunned by this unexpected attack, recoiled in horror. The attackers parked next to the porta-potties and claimed them for the Axis.
The odds were stacked against the Allies with 56 Axis entries versus only 32 in the Allied camp (and one Italian Fiat… More about that later.) for this 26th running of the event. The Axis powers also held an edge right out of the box with 12 uncontested classes. The Allies once again spread themselves into a “Thin Red Line” by bumping cars into higher classes to level the playing field against the numerically superior Axis team. The Axis forces went off to an early lead, and the numbers mounted against the Allies throughout the early runs as the Axis took nine class wins early in the day.
When the dust and tire smoke settled the Axis finished the day with 16 class wins:
- C Stock: Steve Seymour, Mazda Miata
- B Stock: Mike Shaw, Porsche Cayman
- E Stock: Karl “Finger” Rickert, Toyota MR2
- D Stock: Daniel Miller, Mazdaspeed 3
- Street Mod: Heidi Nitti, Scion FRS
- Novice PAX: Jerry Simons, Subaru BRZ
- Street Mod FWD: Nelson Antunes, Civic
- D Street Prepared: Romesh Canekeratne, BMW 330
- Super Street Mod: Terry Nitti, Jr, Scion FRS
- Street Touring U: Terry Nitti, Sr, Scion FRS
- Street Touring X: Damenian Carter, Scion FRS
- Street Touring F: Matt Robinson, Kia Forte
- X Prepared: Joshua Roqueplot, Honda Civic
- Street Touring S: Larry Ferrell, Mazda Miata
- Street Touring R: Kenneth Batten, Honda S2000
- C Street Prepared: Frank Stoddard, Mazda Miata
With the numbers piled up against them, and in the face of the psychological warfare of Chris “Tokyo Rose” Yearwood filling their ears, the main Allied force took the field late in the afternoon. As the Allies of the third and last run group thundered their replies to the earlier screams of the Axis cars, the tide of battle turned. The Allied team came together with a monumental effort and once again came from behind to take 22 class wins overall.
Allied class winners were:
- A Modified: George “I’m Only Doing Three Runs!” Bowland, BBR Shark
- B Modified: Bob Boeggeman, BBR Shark
- C Modified: JD “Gonzo” Kemp, Slotus-Ford
- D Modified: Shane Kelley, MGB
- E Modified: Justin Barbry, Brunton Stalker
- F Stock: Brian Meyers, Ford Mustang
- A Street Prepared: Danielle “HamDip” Miller, Ford Mustang/Slotus
- B Street Prepared: Allyne “HHGOA” Miller, Ford Mustang/Slotus
- E Street Prepared: James Bell, Ford Mustang Boss
- F Street Prepared: Chris Moore, Triumph TR6
- Super Street Prepared: Thomas Simon, Chevy Corvette
- Super Stock: Roberta “Spouse Abuser” Wetzel, Chevy Corvette
- A Stock: Sandy Heath, 1940 Curtiss P-40 Tomahawk Ford Mustang GT
- G Stock: Kahn Howard, Fiat Abarth*
- H Stock: Tiger Berard, Mini Cooper
- B Prepared: Alyssa Lewis, P-38 Ford Mustang
- C Prepared: Sean Ittner, Ford Mustang
- Ladies Pax: Simone Canekeratne, Honda Civic
- F Prepared: “Allied Forces Supreme Commander” JK Jackson, Triumph TR6
- G Prepared: Scott Bohannon, “MGorgeousB”
- Pro Pax: Matt Glagola, Lotus Elise
- Street Tire Pax: Rob Ippolito, Ford Focus ST
*The Fiat’s class win is an Allied win, because his fast run was his 5th!
Repeating the story of WWII, against all odds the Allies came through victorious again. For the 26th year in a row, history has been upheld; the Allies prevailed and took 22 class wins against the Axis 16. The Allies also grabbed FTD (George Bowland) and FTD Pax (Matt Glagola) for two more wins on the day.
The hero of the day was also, in a way, the surprise of the day. Mustang pilot Rob Ippolito found himself in the middle of an engine rebuild on his supercharged 5.0 and was not going to be able to drive the car for this event. He came out anyway, in his daily driver Ford Focus ST. A front-wheel-drive turbo four, not his usual RWD V8 Mustang. Totally out of his element, Rob signed himself up for the Street Tire Pax class, and won it! Apparently, this came as a really big surprise to one of the Axis-driving entrants in that class who had mistakenly thought Rob was in G Stock and that he was winning until he saw Rob’s name on top of the list in STP. You might say Rob “dropped a bomb” on him.
In addition to class win trophies, the "Crappiest Run Golden Toilet Seat” award is given to the driver who has the crappiest run, or whoever falls victim to voter fraud. This is a "people's choice" award, with all entrants asked to vote early and often for their favorite crappy driver. This year the ballots were stuffed quite early, with a vote for JD Kemp noted in the ballot box before the day’s first runs started. One of the newer members of the group, Terry Nitti Sr. took home this prestigious award, likely due to the diligent (and multiple) voting of his son, daughter in law and various friends.
Awards were given again this year for best decorated Allied and Axis cars. The Axis win went to long-time Dixie Region member Michael May’s Honda Fit. The Allied award went to Meghan Tarmey, in her P-40 themed Mini Cooper.
A more recent part of Allies vs. Axis, Dixie Region collects toilet paper and cash donations for the Leon County Shelter for the homeless. Like previous years, the donations were managed by Bryan Batchelor and again this part of the event was a great success, with plenty of donations for the Shelter given by the entrants. There was a raffle for a free helmet, won by Terry Nitti Sr, immediately after he won the Crappy Run award, so it wasn’t all a bad day for “Senior”! We want to thank all that contributed, and this is a part of the Allies vs. Axis event that both sides can take pride in.
Author: JD Kemp. Special thanks to Chris Yearwood for results, Arty Gallegos for all the nick names.
